Thursday, 11 December 2008

How To Make Vintage Bathing Suits (Almost) Look Like Normal Clothing

tattoo man- vintage bathing suit, originally uploaded by Mimi K.

For men - the tattooed strongman look is awaiting a revival. Hop to it!

• Wear matching false eyelashes. If the bathing suit is pink gingham, buy pink feather eyelashes.

• Wear a belt to cinch in the waist. Something wide and satin, maybe a bow belt. In lieu of this buy a length of grosgrain ribbon and tie it in a bow around your waist.

• Wear opaque stockings underneath, or lace leggings. This is the easiest way to make your bathing suit look like a plain ol’ playsuit. Add buckle boots or ballet flats and you’re set!

• Wear the bathing suit with a vintage headband. You know the ones. They’re adorned with gilded leaves and velvet. They’re completely over-the-top, and create a strange, gorgeous juxtaposition with swimwear.

• Wear pearls. I think that somewhere in every post, I advise people to wear pearls (by the way, boys in pearls are beyond awesome. Seriously, there’s very little I wouldn’t do for a boy who wore pearls!) I may have a veritable pearl obsession. Feel free to translate this suggestion to read, “stacks of enamel cuffs”, or “a pile of anatomical necklaces from Paraphernalia”.

• For the particularly daring: Wear a satin turban. If you like comments from total strangers to be kept to a minimum, I don’t recommend donning a turban. Actually, I take that back. Wear the turban anyway, and if anyone yells at you out of the window of their 1983 sedan, smile winningly at them, because really – you’re wearing a turban. They’re not. You win.


ezmeraldaa said...

You are formidable! xx

Pony said...

Thank you, esmereldaa :)

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